The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Sit Down and Man Up

y 23rd, 2012 2:44 AM by Nosy Neighbor

 

The Real Housewives of New Jersey try to "Sit Down and Man Up" before the big trip to Napa. Will any of it help them avoid complete and utter disaster? Let's recap all of the planning meetings of a vacation destined for failure in our THG +/- review.

Teresa's brand just continues to grow. She's got the books. Now she's planning on a line of Teresa aprons, her own specialty Bellini and maybe even T's pasta. Where will it end?

This all may be Teresa's dream but Joe can't keep his nose out of the middle of it. Minus 10 when he can't let Teresa get a word in edgewise during her meeting at the winery. 

But a big plus 15 because someone finally told Teresa that ingrediences is not a word! How many seasons has that taken?

Did anyone else find it funny that Joe was telling Teresa that her driving sucks when only one of them has a valid driver's license and it's not him?

Once they sobered up it was off to Teresa's book signing where Joe sat in the back and drank. If I took a drink every time Joe Guidice did I'd pass out before the show's over.

Teresa has quite a crowd lined up and as nice as it is of Kathy and Richie to show up, I have to laugh when Kathy says the pizzelle recipe in the book was her mother's.  Minus 8.  Being Italian I can say that pretty much every family has their own recipe for pizzelles and despite a differing ingredient here or there they probably all look alike. 

Later, everyone turns out for Kathy's event and I think her tent is bigger than the ice cream store but I have to agree with Teresa on this one. Would investing in a couple of professional looking signs have broken the bank?

It's cute to have your kids make posters but her son's lists titimisu as one of the offerings.  Minus 10.  That might give people the wrong idea about her event.

Kathy's right about one thing. I'd rather eat a small piece of an amazing dessert than have a plate full of diet anything.  Plus 7

It's all about achieving their dreams and after her performance at Beat Stock, Melissa wants a music career but Joe Gorga's not willing to give up the reins. He's been paying the bills and he wants to own Melissa and her music.  Of course he doesn't mind having her act like a musical porn star so that every man will want her…as long as he's the only one that can have her.  Never underestimate the size of the male ego.

Speaking of financial backing, do you think Lauren would be so excited about renting that space if she were the one paying the bill? Minus 11 because I'm getting tired of misunderstood little Lauren chasing her dreams while spending Mommy's money. Isn't' it time for her to grow up?

Of course she has such great role models. She brings Jacqueline along for a business lunch to look at a line of cosmetics and Jacqueline orders a Screaming Orgasm cocktail.  Then she dives into a pitch about how she'd like to be vajazzaling. If you missed it on the show, I'm not about to explain it to you. 

Minus 12 because Jacqueline came off as more a drunken bimbo than a business associate. 

On a side note, has Caroline been relegated to commentator? She doesn't seem to have any storyline of her own.  She simply follows her kids or makes judgements on everyone else's lives.

Back to prepping for the trip to Napa. Chris invites all of the men folk over hoping that they can keep their women from ripping into one another on vacation. It doesn't go well.

Somehow Joe Guidice manages to insult the entire table, including Chris and his wife. He's still holding a grudge against his brother-in-law about some tools he didn't return years ago.  Plus 6 to Richie who gives it back to him at least a little.

Chris is right.  Joe Guidice believes everyone owes their successes to him because he knows all. The Guidices seem to knock everyone down to build themselves up.

I hope Joe Gorga keeps that therapist on speed dial.  I think he's going to need it.

Episode total  =  -23                   Season total  =  -202